Source:The New Democrat
“Informing those in her professional life of her career plans, outgoing White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders reportedly told colleagues Friday she would be serving for a time as CEO of Google before gradually taking on a permanent position as the sultan of Brunei. “It’s been the honor of my life to work in the White House, but I’m excited to lead a $750 billion company in Silicon Valley and begin my reign as one of the world’s last absolute monarchs,” said Huckabee Sanders, explaining she had reluctantly turned down offers to direct the next Star Wars film, design the 2024 Olympic stadium, and become the first person to set foot on Mars, in addition to a lucrative position as head of neurosurgery at the Mayo Clinic.”
Sarah H. Sanders: “Saudi Arabia and Monaco were both pursuing me pretty hard with head of state jobs, and Uber’s been trying to recruit me for their top post for 19 years now, but those opportunities just didn’t have the work–life balance I was looking for. Believe me, it was a tough choice. I spent hours talking it over with my husbands George Clooney, Tom Brady, and Jason Aldean.”
Sarah H. Sanders: “While I’m excited to begin my next chapter, I’ll be taking some time off for myself first. So don’t be surprised if you see me this summer relief-pitching for the Dodgers or traversing the Congo Rainforest with my best friend, Cardi B!” Huckabee Sanders went on to state that she was currently busy reviewing designs for the awards display she will build in the Bruneian palace of Istana Nurul Iman to showcase her multiple Emmys, Pulitzers, and Nobel Peace Prizes.”
From The Onion
“As Trump gears up for his 73rd birthday, he joined George Stephanopoulos for 30 hours and revealed that he doesn’t seem to know what collusion is and unveiled his plans for a new Air Force One. He also tweeted about meeting the ‘Prince of Whales,’ and announced that Sarah Huckabee Sanders is leaving the White House. So as she gets ready to take her leave we stop to reflect on her two incredible years.”
From Jimmy Kimmel Live
When I first heard about Sarah Sanders leaving The White House as Press Secretary, my first reaction was that The Onion will no longer be feeding The White House Press Office with news stories. Seriously, a lot of what she and her colleagues report and talk about from The White House, it’s like reading The Onion and getting the same stories from them. Since this is a right-wing ( to be kind, Far-Right to be more accurate ) White House, maybe their stories and what they say sounds more like stories that come from The National Enquirer, since TNE is not just in bed with Donald Trump, but they’re like his loyal mistress (unlike Stormy Daniels) who’ll do anything for him. They sleep on The Donald to show how loyal they are to him.
The reason why Sarah Sanders hasn’t had a press conference since March (even though she’s The White Press Secretary and this is a major part of her job) is that she’s only human: there’s only so much garbage (to be too generous) that any human being even the world champion of compulsive liars ( Donald Trump, being the current world champion ) can manage, handle, and put up with each day.
Whatever you think of Sarah Sanders and I think she’s one of the most dishonest people in American politics today, ( which makes her very dishonest ) she’s only human and knows that she’s President Trump’s chief bullshitter and being that would have to take a toll on anyone, especially if you’re thinking about having a career with serious, credible, intelligent, and respectful people in the future.
I guess I’ll wish Sarah Sanders well, but only because that means we’ll just have one less bullshitter at taxpayers expense at The White House. But don’t get too excited, because she’ll be replaced as fast as one of President Trump’s political positions and we’ll get a new chief bullshitter at The White House who’ll be just as effective if not more at bullshitting the American people at taxpayers expense.